Violent Lives Ending Violently

“I hate you” is something we say all the time to express jealousy, without really meaning that we hate the person we’re talking to. It would be good for us to remember that hate is not to be taken lightly. “You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You should rebuke your neighbor, and not bring sin on him.” (Lev. 19:17)

This is the commandment that R. Yeshua refers to when he says “But I tell you that everyone who hates his brother without a reason will be in danger of judgment, and one who says to his brother, ‘Raka’ will be in danger of the council, and anyone who ‘You godless one,’ will be in danger of the fire of Gehenna.” (Matt. 5:22). Here, R. Yeshua even compares hating to murder to emphasize how high the stakes are. It is extremely important for us to watch what we think and what we say. This goes back to not doing to others what we don’t want done to us. If you would rather someone didn’t say it about you, don’t say it about them.

That’s pretty straightforward, but there is an important part of this commandment that gets ignored. The second half of the verse in Leviticus 19 is part of the same law. Instead of holding onto anger with your brother for something, you should go to him and tell him why you’re angry with him. This is what R. Yeshua goes on to talk about in the next verses, if you bring an offering to God and remember that you have a grudge against someone, go to them and make it right, etc. R. Israel Meir Kagan (ztz”l)* says that this is a commandment (Sepher HaMitzvoth HaKetzer, negative commandment 78).

R. Yeshua tells us exactly how to do this. If someone sins against us, we go him alone and tell him. If he doesn’t listen, then we take one or two friends with us to convince him. If he still doesn’t listen, we take him before the whole congregation. If he still doesn’t listen, then we disown him. (Matt. 18:15-17)

R. Meir even uses this commandment to say that we should release people from unreasonable promises, because holding them to their word in some cases would be the same as holding a grudge (Mishna, Nedarim 9:4).