One of the biggest problems among Messianics, including me, is our mouth. We like to talk, and we like to talk about eachother. We like to talk about Christians. We like to talk about Jews. We like to talk about everybody in the worst possible way. The Torah tells us “Do not go about as a slanderer among your people” Lev. 19:16.
It doesn’t matter if what you say is true, if you talk badly about any person at all, that is slander, according to R. Israel Meir Kagan (ztz”l). Often we excuse slander by saying “But it’s true!” It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. I’m sure we all have embarrassing secrets that we don’t want spread around, and the fact that they’re true only makes it worse.
This is not a minor commandment, and we need to take it very seriously. The Mishna tells us that evil speech is actually punished more harshly than doing a deed (Mishna, Arakhin 3:5), and Peter indicates that slander is the exact opposite of the word of God (I Pet. 1:24-2:2).
Gossip is a plague. It destroys friendships and families, it destroys communities and turns brothers against eachother. Slander is such a serious issue that a man who slanders his wife is actually punished more than a man who rapes a virgin, according to the Torah (cf. Deut. 22:19, 28-29), and according to Deuteronomy Rabba 5:10, gossip murders three people, the person who tells it, the peson who listens, and the person it is about.
This may be the most harmful thing one person can ever do to another, and it’s something all of us are guilty of at one time or another. We need to learn to be very careful about what we say and what we listen to.