The Torah commands us to love our neighbors in the same way that we love ourselves (Leviticus 19:18b), but that could mean a lot of things. Is the Torah talking about getting a warm, fuzzy feeling when we look in a mirror? That doesn’t make a lot of sense. R. Yeshua says this is the second commandment that the entire Torah is based on (Matt. 22:40), so I don’t think it’s talking just about warm fuzzies.
The Talmud tells a story about a man who came to Rabbi Hillel. The man asked R. Hillel to explain the entire Torah in one phrase, and R. Hillel answered “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you. This is the Law and the Prophets, and the rest is just commentary” (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 31a). Yeshua says nearly the exact same thing in Matthew 7:12, “Therefore whatever you desire for men to do to you, you shall also do to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” (HNV). The Apostle Paul sums the Law up by saying “love your neighbor as yourself” in Romans 13:9, and James says basically the same thing in James 2:8.
These two are the same commandment. What it means to love your neighbor as you love yourself is to treat them the way you want to be treated. If you don’t want people to talk behind your back, then don’t talk behind theirs. If you don’t want to be put down, don’t put others down. This isn’t an easy thing to do. It isn’t something I can say I’m very good at. But it is the right thing to do.
In Leviticus 19, there’s a reason why “love your neighbor” comes right after “Do not take revenge.” If we really love our neighbors we won’t take revenge on them. That’s not saying we won’t get angry, but when we do get angry, we should think about all the things that we do that might frustrate other people. If I take revenge, I’m being a hypocrite, because I do things that deserve to be avenged just as much. I can’t get back at someone for ruining my weekend because I’ve ruined other’s weekends before.